{"id":3444,"date":"2021-08-06T14:34:54","date_gmt":"2021-08-06T11:34:54","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/hingelaegas.ee\/?p=3444"},"modified":"2021-08-06T14:36:00","modified_gmt":"2021-08-06T11:36:00","slug":"avastades-iseenda-toelist-olemust-labi-sisemise-lapse","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/hingelaegas.ee\/en\/blogi\/avastades-iseenda-toelist-olemust-labi-sisemise-lapse\/","title":{"rendered":"Discovering your true nature through your Inner Child"},"content":{"rendered":"

We are born as a clean slate. Without memories, skills, experiences. Therefore, in the first years of life, we are like sponges that absorb everything.<\/strong> We observe and learn how our parents and other family members treat us, how the surrounding world treats us. It has been scientifically proven that our brain waves are at lower or higher frequencies in different states of consciousness. Until the age of 2, our brainwaves are mostly in the delta frequency - they are the slowest, but also the most powerful. As adults, we experience them in deep dreamless sleep and deep meditative states. In this state, healing, recovery, and renewal of the body is possible, and that is why sleep is so important to us. Between the ages of 2 and 6, children are dominated by theta brain waves. As adults, we experience them in a meditative state, light sleep, snooze, or deep thinking where the imagination is at work. At the theta frequency, our minds are turned inward from the outside world, and this is also where we keep our fears and problems.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Delta and theta waves form our later subconsciousness.<\/strong> In other words \u2013 we have all \"absorbed\" it in our childhood, and later it also affects our state of consciousness as an adult.<\/strong> At these frequencies, we learn to speak in childhood, to relate to our parents and surroundings. We learn who we are and how we fit into where we were born. At this age, we are all also in an egocentric period of development. We believe that everything happens to US and because of US. For example, if mom\/dad had a hard day and they come home tired or in a bad mood, we believe it was somehow related to us. That WE did something that ruined their mood. At this age, we can't attribute it to external factors and we have no AWARENESS that it could be because the boss was rude to them at work, or they had an accident, or they got into a fight with someone. As a result, a pattern can be stored in our consciousness (especially if it happens often) that if the other person is in a bad mood, I am somehow to blame for it. I wasn't good enough. In that moment, I didn't feel held and loved. Because at this age we are constantly looking for reassurance that we are cared for and loved.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Unfortunately, we carry these patterns with us into adulthood.<\/strong> In many cases, we are not even AWARE that the way we relate to other people and the environment around us is a result of our own CHILDHOOD PATTERNS.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You might have heard that we all have an Inner Child<\/strong>. S\/He is the one whose experiences and memories later unconsciously make us react to situations. S\/He is the one who creates incomprehensible emotions and thoughts in us, which may not have any connection with the real situation.<\/strong> The Inner Child inside us can be happy, playful, funny - when we felt protected and safe in childhood, we were noticed, recognized, loved. The Inner Child can also be a Wounded or Sad Child - if they were not cared for or noticed, were not taken care of and had to fend for themselves because their parents were at work or tired, their need for tenderness and love was rejected because it was not customary to hug, caress, or cuddle. At this point, I in no way wish to criticize our parents, who raised us with care and love to the best of their knowledge and skills. Unfortunately, they were just unknowingly passing on the same attitudes and\/or patterns they had inherited from their parents that had turned their Inner Child into a Wounded Child as well.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The Inner Child does not define our true nature. But s\/he is part of us.<\/strong> Unfortunately, most of the time we don't recognize this child within us. We have buried our Inner Child deep in the soul, because we think that the past is gone - what's done is done. But at the same time - if we don't notice and acknowledge our Inner Child, who maybe didn't get as much attention, understanding, and care as s\/he needed and wanted, then we later unconsciously let this Wounded\/Sad Child hijack our adult body. Instead of approaching situations consciously and rationally, we react unconsciously and according to patterns that we have once memorized.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

How do you know when your Inner Child might be hurt?<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n

\u2013 You were not allowed to express your opinion as a child. In the old days, it was said that a child speaks when a chicken pees (and chickens don't pee, you know).<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2013 You were punished when you tried to stand up for yourself or behaved inappropriately for others.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2013 You were not encouraged to play. Joking or fooling around was interpreted as disobedience.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2013 You were not allowed to be childishly spontaneous. Better to sit still, do what you're told, and do nothing that might displease others.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

- You were not allowed to show strong emotions - for example, anger or rather great joy. Or cry instead. Especially boys, because men don't cry. Or how so?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2013 You were shamed or criticized by parents or other family members.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2013 You experienced verbal or physical violence. You were scolded, teased or instead got whipped\/beaten.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2013 You were made to feel responsible\/guilty when mom, dad, or another family member was in a good mood or feeling sad.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2013 No physical affection was shared with you \u2013 no hugs, kisses, cuddles.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2013 You were too much or too little. Too sensitive. Too timid. Too serious. Too lively. Too fat. Too skinny.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If our Inner Child is wounded, then it can manifest as childish reactions in stressful situations in later relationships.<\/strong> For example, by shouting or mocking\/criticizing others. Or instead by ignoring others and withdrawing into oneself, where there is a picture, but no voice (in other words, as passive-aggressive manipulation). Even slamming doors and throwing things can happen to a Wounded Child chained to an adult's body if we haven't been able to get in touch with our Inner Child. The Wounded Child is the one who later makes us want to please others and seek attention and recognition from others<\/strong>, because since childhood s\/he has felt left out or has been dismissed. This is where lies the low self-esteem of many adults.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n\n\n\n

Source: Kersti reflecting thoughts<\/a><\/em> <\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Me s\u00fcnnime puhta lehena. Ilma m\u00e4lestuste, oskuste, kogemusteta. Seet\u00f5ttu oleme elu esimestel aastatel nagu k\u00e4snad, mis imavad k\u00f5ike endasse. J\u00e4lgime ja \u00f5pime, kuidas suhtuvad meisse vanemad ja teised pereliikmed, milline on \u00fcmbritsev maailm meie suhtes. Teaduslikult on t\u00f5estatud, et meie ajulained on erinevates teadvuseseisundites madalamatel v\u00f5i k\u00f5rgematel sagedustel. Kuni 2. eluaastani on meie ajulained enamasti delta sagedusel \u2013 need on k\u00f5ige aeglasemad, kuid samas k\u00f5ige v\u00f5imsamad. T\u00e4iskasvanuna kogeme neid s\u00fcgavas unen\u00e4gudeta unes ja s\u00fcgavas meditatiivses seisundis. Selles olekus on v\u00f5imalik keha tervenemine, taastumine ja uuenemine ning seet\u00f5ttu on ka uni meile nii oluline. 2. kuni 6. eluaastani domineerivad lastel teeta ajulained. T\u00e4iskasvanuna kogeme neid meditatiivses olekus, kergemas unes, tukastamises v\u00f5i s\u00fcgavas m\u00f5tlemises, kus t\u00f6\u00f6tab kujutlusv\u00f5ime. Teetasagedusel on meie meeled p\u00f6\u00f6ratud v\u00e4lisest maailmast sissepoole ning siin me hoiame ka oma hirme ja probleeme. Delta- ja teetalained moodustavadki meie hilisema alateadvuse. Ehk siis teisis\u00f5nu – selle k\u00f5ik oleme lapsep\u00f5lves enda “sisse imanud” ja hiljem m\u00f5jutab see ka meie teadvuslikku seisundit t\u00e4iskasvanuna. Nendel sagedustel me \u00f5pime lapsep\u00f5lves r\u00e4\u00e4kima, suhestuma oma vanemate ja \u00fcmbrusega. \u00d5pime, kes oleme meie ja kuidas me sobitume sinna, kuhu me s\u00fcndisime. Selles vanuses oleme k\u00f5ik ka egokeskses arenguperioodis. Me usume, et k\u00f5ik juhtub MEIEGA ja MEIE t\u00f5ttu. N\u00e4iteks kui emal\/isal oli raske p\u00e4ev ja nad tulevad koju v\u00e4sinuna v\u00f5i kehvas tujus, siis me usume, et see oli kuidagi meiega seotud. Et MEIE tegime midagi, mis rikkus nende tuju. Selles vanuses me ei oska seda seostada v\u00e4liste teguritega ning meil puudub TEADLIKKUS, et see v\u00f5ib olla tingitud sellest, et \u00fclemus \u00f5iendas nendega t\u00f6\u00f6l v\u00f5i juhtus neil mingi \u00e4pardus v\u00f5i l\u00e4ksid nad kellegiga t\u00fclli. Sellest tulenevalt v\u00f5ib salvestuda meie teadvusesse muster (eriti, kui seda juhtub tihti), et kui teisel on paha tuju, siis olen mina selles kuidagi s\u00fc\u00fcdi. Ma polnud piisavalt hea. Sel hetkel ma ei tundnud ennast hoitud ja armastatud. Sest selles vanuses me otsime j\u00e4rjepidevalt kinnitust, et meid hoitakse ja armastatakse. Kahjuks v\u00f5tame need mustrid ka endaga hilisemasse ellu kaasa. Paljudel juhtudel me pole isegi TEADLIKUD, et see, kuidas me suhestume teiste inimeste ja \u00fcmbritseva keskkonnaga, on tingitud meie enda LAPSEP\u00d5LVEMUSTRITEST. Kindlasti oled kuulnud, et meil k\u00f5igil on Sisemine Laps. Tema ongi see, kelle kogemused ja m\u00e4lestused meid hiljem alateadlikult panevad olukordadele reageerima. Tema ongi see, kes tekitab meis arusaamatuid emotsioone ja m\u00f5tteid, millel ei pruugi reaalse olukorraga mingit seost olla. Sisemine Laps meie sees v\u00f5ib olla r\u00f5\u00f5mus, m\u00e4nguhimuline, naljatlev \u2013 kui lapsep\u00f5lves tundsime ennast kaitstult ja turvaliselt, meid m\u00e4rgati, tunnustati, armastati. Sisemine Laps v\u00f5ib olla ka Haavatud v\u00f5i Kurb Laps \u2013 kui teda ei hoitud ega m\u00e4rgatud, temaga ei tegeletud ja ta pidi ise hakkama saama, sest vanemad olid t\u00f6\u00f6l v\u00f5i v\u00e4sinud, tema helluse- ja armastusevajadus l\u00fckati tagasi, sest polnud kombeks kallistada, hellitada ega nunnutada. Siinkohal ei soovi ma kuidagi kritiseerida meie vanemaid, kes kasvatasid meid hoole ja armastusega oma parimate teadmiste ja oskuste juures. Kahjuks nad lihtsalt andsid enesele teadmatult edasi neid samu hoiakuid, mille keskelt nad ise p\u00e4rinesid v\u00f5i mustreid, mis olid muutnud ka nende Sisemise Lapse Haavatud Lapseks. Sisemine Laps ei defineeri meie tegelikku olemust. Aga ta on osa meist. Kahjuks me enamasti ei tunnusta seda last enda sees. Me oleme matnud ta s\u00fcgavale hingep\u00f5hja, sest arvame, et mis sest vanast supist ikka soojendada \u2013 mis olnud, see olnud. Aga samas \u2013 kui me ei m\u00e4rka ega tunnusta oma Sisemist Last, kes v\u00f5ib-olla ei saanud nii palju t\u00e4helepanu, m\u00f5istmist ja hoolimist, kui ta oleks vajanud ja soovinud, siis seel\u00e4bi me laseme hiljem alateadlikult sellel Haavatud\/Kurval Lapsel kaaperdada oma t\u00e4iskasvanud keha. Selle asemel, et l\u00e4heneda olukordadele teadlikult ja ratsionaalselt, reageerime alateadlikult ja kunagi salvestatud mustrite j\u00e4rgi. Kuidas teada, millal Sinu Sisemine Laps v\u00f5ib olla haavatud? – Sul ei lubatud lapsena avaldada oma arvamust. Vanasti \u00f6eldi ikka, et laps r\u00e4\u00e4gib siis, kui kana pissib. – Sind karistati, kui Sa p\u00fc\u00fcdsid enda eest seista v\u00f5i k\u00e4itusid teiste jaoks sobimatult. – Sind ei julgustatud m\u00e4ngima. Nalja tegemist t\u00f5lgendati pigem kui s\u00f5nakuulmatust. – Sul ei lubatud olla lapselikult spontaanne. Parem istu paigal, kuula s\u00f5na ja \u00e4ra tee midagi. – Sul ei lubatud n\u00e4idata tugevaid emotsioone \u2013 n\u00e4iteks viha v\u00f5i hoopis suurt r\u00f5\u00f5mu. V\u00f5i hoopis nutta. Eriti poistel, sest mehed ju ei nuta. V\u00f5i kuidas? – Sind h\u00e4bistati v\u00f5i kritiseeriti vanemate v\u00f5i teiste pereliikmete poolt. – Sinu kallal tarvitati verbaalset v\u00f5i f\u00fc\u00fcsilist v\u00e4givalda. S\u00f5imati, narriti v\u00f5i said hoopis vitsa\/peksa. – Sind pandi tundma s\u00fc\u00fcdi selles, kui emal, isal v\u00f5i m\u00f5nel teisel pereliikmel oli hea tuju v\u00f5i kurb meel. – Sulle ei jagatud f\u00fc\u00fcsilisi kiindumusavaldusi \u2013 ei kallistatud, musitatud, kaisutatud. – Sa olid liiga palju v\u00f5i liiga v\u00e4he. Liiga tundlik. Liiga arg. Liiga t\u00f5sine. Liiga l\u00f5bus. Liiga paks. Liiga k\u00f5hn. Kui meie Sisemine Laps on haavatud, siis hilisemates suhetes v\u00f5ib see v\u00e4ljenduda stressisrohketes olukordades lapsikute reaktsioonidena. N\u00e4iteks karjumise v\u00f5i teiste m\u00f5nitamise\/kritiseerimisena. V\u00f5i hoopis ignoreerimise ja endasse t\u00f5mbumisega, kus pilt on, aga h\u00e4\u00e4lt ei ole (teisis\u00f5nu passiiv-agressiivse manipuleerimisena). Isegi uste paugutamist ja asjade loopimist v\u00f5ib t\u00e4iskasvanu kehasse aheldatud Haavatud Lapsel ette tulla, kui me pole osanud oma Sisemise Lapsega kontakti leida. Haavatud Laps on see, kes hiljem paneb meid teiste meele j\u00e4rele olema ja t\u00e4helepanu ning tunnustust teiste k\u00e4est otsima, sest lapsep\u00f5lvest peale on ta tundnud ennast k\u00f5rvalej\u00e4etult v\u00f5i on teda maha tehtud. Just siin peitub ka paljude t\u00e4iskasvanute madal enesehinnang. Allikas: Kersti m\u00f5lgutab m\u00f5tteid<\/p>","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":3445,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[35],"tags":[61,451,450,57],"class_list":["post-3444","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-suhted-eneseareng","tag-eneseareng","tag-lapsepolv","tag-sisemine-laps","tag-suhted"],"yoast_head":"\nAvastades iseenda t\u00f5elist olemust l\u00e4bi Sisemise Lapse - Hingelaegas<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Sisemine Laps meie sees v\u00f5ib olla r\u00f5\u00f5mus, m\u00e4nguhimuline, naljatlev \u2013 kui lapsep\u00f5lves tundsime ennast kaitstult ja turvaliselt, meid m\u00e4rgati, tunnustati, armastati. 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